If you were paying attention to my last post (take 100 lines if you weren’t) you will recall I was due to have a potential skin cancer checked out. Well here is how it (roughly) played out earlier today.
Cast in alternating order of appearance:
- Consultant dermatologist
- Me (patient)
Good morning, I’m doctor *****.
Good morning. I’ve been referred by my GP
Can you show me the problem?
No.
No?
No.
Why not?
I can’t see it.
At this point the CD refers to the notes she has been given by the GP.
I see. It’s on your left lower arm.
CD takes my left lower arm and spends about 20 seconds examining under a magnifying glass.
Right, I can see you have a difference in pigmentation and I know what it is causing it.
Oh! Is it serious?
It’s a watch mark.
A watch mark?
Yes, where you wear your watch your wrist is untanned – pale in fact. The leather watch strap has possibly rubbed the skin slightly too.
What about the cancer?
It’s a watch mark.
Are you sure?
Trust me. I’m a doctor.
Is that it?
Yes.
Are you sure there is nothing else? What about that?
A scar.
Can I go?
Yes. Have a nice day.
Mrs. Ha and I left and as we walked down the corridor I’m sure I heard laughter in the consulting room. The total time for this exchange was less than 2 minutes. I had waited 2 months for the appointment and it probably cost the health service a few bob. I suppose it is better to be safe than sorry but I am going to go without my watch for a while to get rid of the mark. I shall call it solar surgery.
All downhill from here 